
- I started a new weekly tradition today: going to Kalen’s classroom and reading with each of the students. (Major flashbacks, as I’d nearly forgotten that I did the same with Nicky’s first grade classmates a few years ago.) I introduced myself to the class and confessed up front that I am horrible with names and that I would likely be forgetting most of them from week to week. They thought that was pretty funny. Or maybe they thought it was strange. I’m going with the former.
- I was reading with each kid individually, and I introduced myself to the ones I didn’t know. We shook hands. I wanted to stop right then and there and have a handshaking lesson. Most of the boys (save one) had nice, firm grips. Every. Single. Girl. (save one) had a fishy handshake, barely touching my hand and letting it hang there limply. I know, I know, they’re six or seven years old. But why is it that the boys know darned well how to shake hands confidently, and only ONE girl does?? I’m not saying it’s anyone’s fault, because I’m guessing handshaking isn’t something most parents teach their kids before first grade. (We happened to, but different people have different teaching priorities. I get that. And we have boys. I hope I would’ve taught it to daughters as well, but I can’t assume I wouldn’t have fallen into the same pattern as most other people…strangers don’t tend to offer their hands to little girls as much. I wonder why that is…) It does make me wonder, however, how many of these bright, otherwise confident girls will grow up not knowing this very important (in American business, at least) social skill? I’ve met my fair share of grown women with limp-fish handshakes.
- The only handshake worse than a fishy one? A crushing one. There was a certain high-ranking military officer I was introduced to as a teenager who crushed the hell out of my hand. I must’ve been barely seventeen. A seventeen-year-old GIRL. (With, I might add, a confident, firm-enough handshake. I’d grown up meeting high-ranking military officers, after all.) What middle-aged man feels the need to exert that kind of physical power over a teenage girl?? Now that I think about it, it’s actually pretty creepy. Great, now he’s not only an a$$h0le in my memory, he’s a creepy a$$h0le.
- Loved last night’s Big Bang Theory. The Wesley Crushers. Heh. I did have to ask Jason why he’s never so impressed when I quote Yoda, though. His response: “You’ve been doing it for so long.” Oh yeah. I’m geekier than Penny. I forget sometimes.
- I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. I want to switch dentists. There’s nothing wrong with this one, and the people there are perfectly friendly, it’s just not the homey, “you’re family” atmosphere we had at our dentist in Georgia. The hygienist never remembers my aversion to mouthwash. Plus, Jason has a different dentist he used – and loved – when he was here last summer. How do I “break” from the dentist? Just not make my next appointment? Tell them I’m switching? They won’t really care, will they? Why do I care? Two words: people pleaser. Gah.
- Are there any reformed ex-people pleasers out there? Please share. Methods. Results. The whole shebang.
- The one-and-only Pioneer Woman is going to be here Saturday for a book signing. I’d love to go, but I can only imagine how crowded it’s going to be. It’s at the same venue as the Cake Wrecks signing we went to last fall, and that was crowded. I’d be surprised if the crowd isn’t doubled for Ree’s visit. I don’t particularly care for crowds.
- And so ends a post in which you were introduced to not one, not two, but three more Aimee Idiosyncrasies. (Or maybe four. I’ve kind of lost count.) Lucky readers!
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April 13, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Beth
Do you remember the episode of Friends (of course you do) where Chandler wanted to quit the gym? I always think of that situation when I go to the dentist that I’ve been seeing for 12 years. Not because I particularly like him. HA! It sounds so ridiculous outside of my head! Well, fellow people-pleasing friend, I will be anxiously awaiting the replies of reformed people-pleasers as well…
April 13, 2010 at 12:08 pm
aimeewrites
Hahaha! Yes, of course!
Okay, you’ve just inspired me. I won’t be wondering twelve years from now why I didn’t just leave at the beginning…
April 13, 2010 at 12:18 pm
Mom
Gosh, Aimee, I would like to think that I am an ex-people pleaser, but the truth is that most women, through the combination of nature and socialization are people pleasers. Having spent the first 45 years of my life trying to please one person and almost killing myself doing it, you would think I would be the ex of the exes. But there will always be people in my life who I love and who love me and so some degree of people pleasing will go on. But, hopefully, in a more sane and healthy way. At least with age, I have learned to be more selective!
April 13, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Mom
I will say that I have no qualms about leaving a doctor or dentist who does not please me. You have seen me do it many times. I will even change from one partner to another within a practice if needs be. At least take this page from your momma’s book. My dad always said to treat your doctor like your plumber and if he isn’t doing a good job, fire him!
April 13, 2010 at 6:15 pm
Gretchen
That is really interesting about the handshakes. I imagine that no one ever thinks to teach girls how to shake hands. I remember this being something I fretted over and practiced as a young girl. Finding the perfect balance of firm and feminine. I think I’ll go teach my son to shake hands right now!
April 15, 2010 at 2:17 pm
angelina
I think I better find out what kind of hand-shaker Max is- it never occurred to me to teach him. Which is stupid because I’m like you in thinking this is important. A handshake makes a lasting impression. I don’t trust people with limp handshakes. I can like them, many super nice people have limp handshakes, but I don’t trust them. And crushing is unnecessary. But limp is the worst.
I’m the same way about crowds.
I can’t advise on the dental thing. I haven’t been in years because I can’t afford one and so far we like the one Max has. But, I have this problem with hairdressers. It is easy to feel obligated to return to the same one and sometimes they do a kind of territorial thing on you. The more chatty and friendly with them that I am the worse I feel about getting a bad cut. The only way out of this dilemma is that I never ever make an appointment in advance, this means I get a lot of different ones, whoever is available. And I no longer get all chatty. If I ever find one that gives me three good cuts in a row I will roll out the red carpet, promise to bring them cookies and get chummy.
That doesn’t help. I’m just saying I have exquisite trouble with this very same issue.